Every second adult in the metropolitan city of the world lives with a chronic or health issue, ranging from diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, to just name a few.
In most cases, the problems are undiagnosed. Another widely prevalent and undiagnosed condition is the urge to give unsought advice to everyone and anyone, like they hold a degree of a doctor (which they don’t).
Everyone has their own opinion, home remedies, on how to manage asthma, cure dengue, how to prevent hair fall and all other defects (real big or imagined to be big or small).
These traditional remedies are never based on scientific research. These are just personal insight of a being which they compel on others.
The advice they give is usually based on their experiences which just worked one time or so, and they think it’s gonna work every time -” the juice of boiled neem leaves cured my daughter’s dengue “. Though you can try out these advices seldom on your risk ;).
Instead, anyone with any degree of a health issue is besiege with advice. So, it may be a good idea to think before you tell anybody how to best cope with a condition that’s bothering them A HELL LOT.
Among the things that you must never say to them….
” I’m so sorry. Are you okay? ”
There’s a guy who’s very close to me, he was suffering from a terminal illness. He chose not to tell his friends about it, simply because he didn’t wanted people calling him everyday or sitting by him advising him to rest and take it easy. And then there was him who believed that things should go normal as possible for as long as possible. He didn’t liked people reminding him of his illness everyday, he wanted to lead a normal life. Sympathy doesn’t work for everyone and it’s often the last thing people need in their fight against a terminal illness. Most of the time you don’t need to say anything just being there with is all that they need from you.
“You’re so brave. I’m happy to see you coping so well.”
Living with an illness in itself is not about being brave, it’s about coping with an unexpected situation the best way you can. Also, all chronic conditions and diseases don’t mean imminent death, so words that you use that sound more like condolences are best not said. Unless you really know exactly how the person feels or is going through, don’t just assume you know.
“You look well for someone in your condition.”
Saying that someone’s looking better when they are not is a bad idea. It makes them wonder why there’s a need for you to lie to them. Wait for them to ask for advice before making your personal comments.
“It could be worse.”
You know that something could be a lot more worse than it is now is hardly a cheering thought. Avoid measuring a person’s suffering, pain, discomfor; avoid judging them.
And not to forget BLAME is the last thing that an ailing person would ever need and judgmental comments can alienate him forever.
Think about yourself, when you are down with fever or cold all need is someone to hear you. That’s it, they also need a sympathetic ear. When in doubt, just say “I’m always there with you”. ^_^